The 6 best perfectionism lisa van gemert 2019
Finding the best perfectionism lisa van gemert suitable for your needs isnt easy. With hundreds of choices can distract you. Knowing whats bad and whats good can be something of a minefield. In this article, weve done the hard work for you.
Finding the best perfectionism lisa van gemert suitable for your needs isnt easy. With hundreds of choices can distract you. Knowing whats bad and whats good can be something of a minefield. In this article, weve done the hard work for you.
Best perfectionism lisa van gemert
1. Perfectionism: A Practical Guide to Managing "Never Good Enough"
Description
For perfectionists of all types, whether children or adults, this practical guide explains myths about perfectionism and provides a new paradigm with practical steps to turn the negative into positive, build resilience, and develop optimism. Goals, perseverance, mindset, and self-talk are emphasized. The author, Lisa Van Gemert, is an educator and widely-known speaker and was Youth and Education Ambassador for Mensa. She understands perfectionism in herself as well as through her work.
2. Smart Parenting for Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child's True Potential
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Jossey-BassDescription
"My kid is smart, but..."It takes more than school smarts to create a fulfilling life. In fact, many bright children face special challenges:
- Some are driven by perfectionism;
- Some are afraid of effort, because they're used to instant success;
- Some routinely butt heads with authority figures;
- Some struggle to get along with their peers ;
- Some are outwardly successful but just don't feel good about themselves.
This practical and compassionate book explains the reasons behind these struggles and offers parents do-able strategies to help children cope with feelings, embrace learning, and build satisfying relationships. Drawing from research as well as the authors clinical experience, it focuses on the essential skills children need to make the most of their abilities and become capable, confident, and caring people.
Q&A with Co-Author Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD
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Its ironic that the children (and adults) who are most frightened about not being good enough are often the most capable. These children may become extremely anxious before tests--even though theyre very competent academically. They may spend way too much time on assignments or refuse to do anything where they arent instantly successful. They may also pick apart their social performance--I shouldnt have said that. Shell be mad at me. To the outside world, these kids may seem confident, but their parents often see the other side: their stress, suffering, and even emotional melt-downs.
The world tells bright children that their performance matters; they need us, their parents, to tell them that they are much more than the sum of their accomplishments. They need to know that we love them for their kindness, curiosity, imagination, determination, and sense of fun. Qualities like these arent necessarily impressive, but they matter deeply.
You discuss the burden of potential. What does that mean?
Potential becomes a burden when we see it too narrowly, as a predestined calling to greatness. This causes children to be weighed down by other peoples expectations. It limits their ability to explore and discover and sometimes even mess up and try again. A narrow view of potential focuses on an imaginary future ideal rather than the real child in front of us.
Potential is not an endpoint but a capacity to grow and learn. It makes no sense to talk about children not living up to their potential, as if there were some lofty gold ring that our children will either jump high enough to reach or else fall short. In real life, there are lots of choices, lots of chances, and lots of paths.
Do parents need to push their children to be successful?
No. Pushing might work with some very compliant children, but many children will actively resist heavy-handed efforts to control them, and the resulting conflicts can get ugly. Children who perceive their parents as very critical of them are also more likely to feel depressed and anxious.
Rather than trying to push our children, it makes more sense to help them develop their own motivation to do well. Research points to three components of inner motivation:
1) Competence--Mastering a new skill feels satisfying, but children will avoid doing things where they dont believe they can be successful. Breaking tasks down so they can have small successes along the way helps increase motivation.
2) Autonomy--Children are more likely to do something if they have some choice in how they do it or at least a rationale that makes sense to them about why they should do it.
3) Connection--Children want to do things that make them feel connected to people or groups who matter to them. Our children are most likely to embrace our values when we have a warm and caring relationship with them.
What about self-esteem? What can we do to make sure our kids feel good about themselves?
It makes intuitive sense that if children feel good about themselves, it will help them do well in life. Extensive research says this idea is just plain wrong. Higher self-esteem does not lead to better school performance or better relationships, and it also doesnt prevent kids from smoking, using alcohol or drugs, or engaging in early sex. Telling children, Youre great! or Youre so smart! can actually backfire by making them afraid to try activities where they might not appear great or smart right away.
Self-esteem is specific, rather than general. Children have beliefs about how well they can perform in math, baseball, videogames, and being helpful to their parents. If we want our children to have better self-esteem in a particular area, we need to help them actually do better in that area. Anything else is just wishful thinking that wont stand up to the feedback of reality. Self-esteem cant be given; it has to be earned.
How can parents find the line between being involved but not too involved with their children?
Every day we hear dire news: lay-offs, economic decline, wars, environmental crises, appalling acts of greed and betrayal by business and religious leaders So of course parents wonder, Is my kid going to be okay?
Its instinctive to want to protect our children from suffering, but dealing with challenges and disappointments can help children develop coping abilities. If we step in too quickly to solve problems that our children could solve themselves, we steal their opportunity to learn important life skills. We can empathize, we can coach, we can explain, but we need to be careful not to take over so that our children can discover that setbacks are unpleasant but tolerable and often temporary.
The miracle of children is that we just dont know how they will change, or who they will become. Our job as parents is not to decide our childrens path but to try to equip them for their journey and to have faith that they will find their way.
3. The Survival Guide for Gifted Kids: For Ages 10 and Under
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Used Book in Good ConditionDescription
4. The Gifted Kids Workbook: Mindfulness Skills to Help Children Reduce Stress, Balance Emotions, and Build Confidence
Description
Help your gifted child embrace their uniqueness. In this workbook, a therapist offers fun activities and strategies to help children ages 7 to 12 boost self-confidence, reduce stress and overwhelm, and balance emotions.
As a parent, you understand the blessings and the challenges of raising a gifted child more than anyone. Although gifted kids are often seen as intellectually and academically privileged, those same gifts can also create challenges. For example, kids are often quite aware of their differences, and this awareness can negatively impact their sense of self and confidence in the world. This engaging workbook directly addresses the psychological needs of gifted children using a powerful combination of mindfulness, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and self-compassion strategies.
With this workbook, your child will gain a better understanding of their unique gifts and learn essential strategies to help regulate their emotions, manage anxiety, improve mood, and navigate social relationships. Young readers will learn that they are not alone in their experiences, and that much of what others might consider to be different or strange about them is actually quite typical within the context of giftedness.
For children, feeling different from others can be difficult. With this workbook, your child will learn that they have an important place in the world, and that their gifts are something to celebrate.
5. Perfectionism and Gifted Children
Description
Parents and educators expect gifted children to be well-behaved, studious, and hard working. Why, then, do so many have trouble in school? According to Dr. Rosemary Callard-Szulgit, perfectionismthe number one social-emotional trait of gifted childrencan actually immobilize some children and cause social adjustment problems for others. This explains why so many of today's gifted children do not, or cannot, complete school assignments or even follow through on personal responsibilities.During her forty-five year career, Callard-Szulgit has helped hundreds of students and their parents recover from the harmful effects of being perfectionists. In her second edition of Perfectionism and Gifted Children, Callard-Szulgit provides practical insight into perfectionism, discussing why so many gifted children are perfectionists while also providing common sense solutions to the problems this presents. This book will be helpful to families and educators of gifted students, as well as to gifted children themselves. The expanded question and answer section will better help parents and teachers ease childrens anxieties and behaviors that stem from the problems of perfectionism. Appendixes list current associations and advocacy groups, Internet resources, journals and magazines that address the special needs of the gifted and talented.
6. Perfectionism and Gifted Children